Bush says sorry, hugs girl, warms hearts

Finally, we get a sorry out of the man who has created my generation's Vietnam. Mark my words: in three to four years, there will be a Platoon-esque movie about these past two months in Iraq and the rest of the world.

Meanwhile, in a recent visit to Lebanon, Ohio, Bush stopped to console a young lady who had lost her mom at the World Trade Center. The girl's father, Lynn Faulkner, took this:



Quite a day for nice gestures by the Prez. Could he be all that bad after all?

Hey man relax. I'm a registered Democrat.

'Web Gems' Takes on a Whole New Meaning

Every night on Baseball Tonight, Harold Reynolds goes through the day's top defensive plays in a segment ESPN calls Web Gems, alluding to the natural form of the inside of a baseball glove. However, when Spiderman 2 logos start showing up all over the ballpark, on the bases, around the batter's box and plastered on the pitching rubber, the term will take on a whole new meaning.

HA HA HA, like a Spider Web! As in Spiderman 2! Oh the kids will love this.

That's right, folks. The MLB just struck a deal with the devil/Columbia TriStar Motion Picture Group, for a glorious weekend of Spider-Man 2 events coordinated with Major League Baseball Properties and the 15 MLB Clubs hosting home games June 11-13.



And I think the whole thing stinks worse than Spiderman part 1.

What were they thinking, ESPN.com's Eric Neel?

Maybe they figure we love baseball enough to look past the
corporate muck on the field. Maybe they figure we're too jaded
to care or too lazy to do anything.

Whatever they're thinking, I figure they need a little smackdown
from the fans on the movie's opening weekend, a little rising up of
vox populi, you know what I'm saying?

Here's my plan: We flip the bad movie sequel script on them.
Just before the opening pitch, we all start chanting. Like the
crowd in the Astrodome in "Bad News Bears in Breaking Training"
doing "Let Them Play!," we shout, "Spidey Off the Bases! Spidey
Off the Bases! Spidey Off the Bases!" Not just a handful of us,
but the whole stadium; and not just one stadium, but every park
in every big league city in the country.

We take the game back, we mock the suits, we make history,
and we make "SportsCenter." Whaddaya say?

Meteorologists love worst-case scenarios. So does Greenpeace apparently

In somewhat of a bizarre twist of movie-making fate, scientists, environmentalists and even politicians are embracing the megabucks disaster orgy The Day After Tomorrow, created by the producers of Independence Day, and sure to make Jake Gyllenhaal into a megabucks Movie Star.

(Not to wander too far off-topic, but since old friends and random girls claim that much like David Schwimmer, Ben Stiller and Chris Kattan, Jake Gyllenhaal and I bear a similar resemblance. Therefore, I have an extra special vested interest in his films. I do not want my likenesses making crappy movies.)

Anyway, it seems that even Al Gore AKA Every-Democrats-Worst-Nightmare likes the idea of America learning that disasters of armageddon-like proportions could befall future generations if we keep spraying WD-40 and Pam everywhere.

"Millions of people will be coming out of theaters on Memorial Day weekend, asking the question, 'Could this really happen?' I think we need to answer that question," Gore said in a statement.

Check out the story here.

Meanwhile, Republicans everywhere continue to quietly hope that the next time these three guys are in the same place, a giant tidal wave of Day After Tomorrow proportions will hit unexpectedly...

Whole lotta hullaballoo-in' over this Rance fella

Now that Howard Stern has outed himself as a closet-blogger on his morning program recently, nerds everywhere are scrambling to get the address. Meanwhile, there's been a lot of talk going around about this Rance guy, who is supposedly George Clooney or Owen Wilson or someone else who's decidedly famous in his own right.

Howard's blog is entirely a work of fiction, according to the Bush hating shock jock, but allegedly Rance speaks the truth.

One thing is for sure: Rance talks Hollywood; its whether or not he actually is Hollywood that remains a mystery. In a recent post entitled Fun With Psychopharmaceuticals, Rance poses a conundrum that aims to answer this question: How can you be certain to your daily dose of Seroquel and Xanax without any tablets going to waste?

24 hours on Craigslist

I was tooling around on craigslist one day, when I found craigblog. Yesterday, while on craigblog, I came across 24 Hours on craigslist. Here's what I found there:

From a single post on craigslist we assembled 8 film crews to document a random day-in-the-life of what has evolved into the
world's largest community board. Not just the "Best-Of" or the "Success Stories", but a real, down-to-earth look at the fastest-growing grassroots cyber-community in the city that started it: San Francisco.



This is that day: August 4, 2003:

An Ethel Merman drag queen searches for the perfect backup band for her Led Zeppelin covers. A suburban professional woman assembles a diabetic cat support group. A couple seeks the perfect rabbi for their marriage. An aging, would-be mother finds her ideal sperm donor. Doors for sale, one night stands,
compulsive roomates, transsexual erotic services. The mundane and the sublime, the ridiculous and the profound, all come together to paint a portrait of a thriving, humanistic community in the midst of an ever-accelerating culture.



Its the craigslist movie, proving that one really handy website can indeed create magic everyday and not just on August 3, 2003.

And speaking of craigslist, if you're planning on swinging through Boston for the Democratic National Convention this July, folks all over the Hub will gladly take you in -- for a price.

Its like friendster, just grosser

Marky got with Sharon and Sharon got Sharice.
She was sharing Sharon's outlook on the topic of disease.

Perhaps when the guy from the Butthole Surfers wrote this lyric, he was referring to WhoBangedWho.com, the newest social network site that links everyones' sexual partners. They say that when you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone they've slept with, and so on and so forth. Therefore, even if you've slept with just one person but they've slept with two, you're a dirty whore. Tough one.

With Walk on Water Action!

It is surprising that it took so long, but finally someone with access to the Internet has made a Jesus Christ Action Figure mock-commercial, likely to goof on America's obsession with Jesus as of late. Watch it here, you Jesus freaks.

And in God-related news, if you liked Office Space, hate porn and love God, check out this short film from Project God.com. Sure, I know the chances of someone reading this and sharing the aforementioned interests is slim, but watching someone destroy a piece of machinery in a fit of rage is always entertaining. And maybe, just maybe, you might never look at porn again. Thank God for that.